In Memoriam by Lennart Soet

Anyone who knew my dad will remember him for his boundless energy, his incredible organization, his strong determination, his unwavering faith and his life of commitment and service to others. Dad had a great vitality about him. He was involved in many service organizations and created a schedule that would be difficult for most younger people to keep up with. He was always active and had a real zest for life.
Let me give you a bit of background about my father to start with. Lou was born in Rotterdam on February 16th, 1923. He was the eldest of 4 children (his two sisters and brother are still living in the Netherlands). When he was quite young, his father passed away. During the war in 1941 he started his studies to become a priest. He was involved as a Novitiate for a number of years in Holland and also with the Benedictines in Trinidad, but eventually it was apparent that this was not for him. He returned to the Netherlands where he was actively involved with a Catholic Youth Organization. It was there that he first noticed a very beautiful young lady whom he soon married. Two days after the marriage Lou and Mies left on a boat for Canada where they started their new life together.

Lou always had fond memories of their early days in Canada working together at their first job at an Auto Court on Kingsway. Soon the family started growing and there were six children altogether, three boys and three girls. It was a challenge for Dad to get himself established in a new country while raising his growing family. He got a job as an insurance salesman and became very successful. His genuine love of people and his determination gave him a great ability in sales and he won many bonus trips and top sales awards. It was 1957 when he moved the family into their Pender Street house, where they have been ever since.

One of the most prominent memories of growing up for us all were the family camping trips. The eight of us would crowd into the little 4 cylinder Rambler and with trailer in tow, we'd head off for the interior of B.C. Looking back now it is easy to sympathize with Dad's occasional lack of patience when 6 kids were constantly asking "Are we there yet?" "Are we there yet?" All the kids will also remember Dad's 'great' cooking abilities. We dreaded the times when Mum was in the hospital having another baby because the meals consisted of burnt carrots and burnt potatoes.

Because of his lack of cooking skills, Lou was chief dishwasher when the kids were small. Miriam remembers him washing dishes in the small pantry and constantly stopping to give Ingrid "spoonfuls" of sugar. He said his mother used to sprinkle sugar on his eggs in the morning. Lou definitely had a sweet tooth. You know, our last name, Soet, means sweet in Dutch.

There's no question that Dad's true passion was his Christian faith, so he was always very active in the church. He was a past Grand Knight for the Knights of Columbus. When he was elected to the St. Helen's council in 1971 it only had 12 members and within a few years the membership grew to 120, he never stopped actively recruiting. He was also involved with the Curcillo movement, RCIA, the Legion of Mary, and very involved as a choir and music leader. He was president of the St. Vincent de Paul Society and also helped my mother with the Birthright Organization. He sponsored many new Catholics and is the Godparent of many. He was deeply dedicated and committed to all his service work.

Richard had a recent story of taking Dad to the doctor. Though he seemed to be in dire pain and had trouble walking the moment he got home he hurried off to another Knights of Columbus meeting. My father was truly an example of 'Christian Action' and it was his way of showing Jesus' love for us.

Music may be the best way to express one's deepest emotions and perhaps that is why Dad loved his music so much. Music was his way of helping those around him to brighten their days and lead the congregation in song. They say "to sing is to pray twice". Dad was the choir director for St. Helen's and Holy Cross for many years. He also sang at the 12 o'clock Mass at the Cathedral downtown. More recently he was also the choir leader for the Confederation singers and the 411 Glee club singers. However, the music wasn't always a positive thing as when we were younger. We still remember other boys going to their hockey and soccer games on Saturday morning while Dad took us to choir practices downtown at the Holy Rosary Cathedral. So that's why I sing in choirs and don't play soccer.

Dad was an incredibly well organized person. He even had made a copy ready of his own Bio for this Eulogy. Anybody who knew him well, probably received a copy of his Christmas card/letter. It was something he planned out and spent a lot time on. With the advent of color copying you could see the improvements it went through over the years. I'm sure everyone will miss it next Christmas. He organized a virtual library of photo albums of the family history also throughout the years. He took care and pride in whatever he did. Even his handwriting was so beautiful with all the style and elaborate swirls. You should see his signature.

He had special charm about him and a love of people. He was always very gracious, welcoming and entertaining. A good illustration of this characteristic happened recently when Richard took him to a specialist doctor without an appointment. (Keep in mind that it takes months to get an appointment with a specialist these days) Apparently, another patient, who didn't even know him, volunteered to give up her appointment for Dad - just because she immediately warmed to his personality.

Dad obviously loved people, but he especially loved his wife, children and grandchildren. At times he found it hard to communicate with those closest to him; but he would have done anything for his family. I wondered what he would want me to say about him during this eulogy and the first thing that came to mind is that he would want people to know that his source of strength, next to God, was his wife Mies. She has stood by him for over fifty years and loved him. Last spring they celebrated their 50th anniversary together. Dad always looked up to her spirituality and her helping heart for others.

Only God really knows the true number of people that Dad has helped throughout the years. He has brought many to Christ and supported many newly landed immigrants. Although it is certainly the case that most of us think of ourselves first, this cannot be said of my father. He was surely one of the most selfless people I have met. He didn't focus on his own personal success and wealth but on the benefit of others. I think we can all learn something from him. I know I have learnt a great deal. I'm grateful to have had him as my father. I thank him for his dedication, care and love.

My sense is that my father is here with us today and would want me to thank everybody for coming to offer their positive feelings of love and support. He would want to thank all of you for your friendship and help over the years. I just want to say from all of us "Dad we all love you very much and will always miss you."

Thank you and Dank U Wel.
Lennart Soet

Namens haar familie schreef ook Leonie een "In Memoriam":
Wij gedenken ...
Een groot verlangen werd na een zesjarig huwelijk eindelijk vervuld, In Rotterdam werd op 16-2-1923 Loutje geboren. Maar helaas, onze grootste, oudste broer, is niet meer. Hij ontviel ons 14-04-2004. Ons klaverblad is niet meer compleet. Vele goede herinneringen hebben wij aan onze vroege jeugd met elkaar. Lou toonde op zeer jonge leeftijd al vele talenten, hij was veelzijdig.
Wisten jullie, dat Lou degene was, die verjaardagswensjes bij ons er in stampte
Wisten jullie, dat Lou bij ons thuis poppenkastvoorstellingen gaf
Wisten jullie, dat Lou probeerde de vaderfiguur te zijn, na het overlijden van onze vader in 1937
Wisten jullie, dat Lou een grote houten trapauto voor zijn broertje Will gemaakt heeft
Wisten jullie, dat zijn zusjes Netty en Leonie op Moederdag door hem getooid werden in zwarte jurkjes met een roze hartje erop, kleine witte schortjes en een wit dienstboden randje in hun haar
Wisten jullie, dat Lou graag priestertje speelde, maar moeite had met het confiteor
Wisten jullie, dat Lou goed kon tekenen en schilderen
Wisten jullie, dat Lou zeer musicaal was
Wisten jullie, dat Lou voorzitter van een culturele jongeren vereniging was, waar veel paartjes zich vormden o.a. Lou en Mies
Jullie weten wel dat er 4 Appels zijn waar veel over Lou en Mies te lezen is namelijk 1997 no 6, 1999 no 14, 2001 no 22 en 2003 no 30.
Wij teren nog op de vele telefoongesprekken.
Wanneer hij belde, meldde hij zich nooit met zijn naam, maar wij hoorden het direct en zullen hem en zijn lachsalvo's erg missen.
Leonie Schellekens-Soet
26-04-2004, Voorburg